How Do The Dougherty Dozen Make Money
When schools airtight in March 2020 at the start of the Covid-19 outbreak, Alicia Dougherty of a sudden found herself at home … with all x of her children.
Between alive classes and asynchronous work, the family's school day oftentimes didn't end until 9 p.g. "Nosotros had to upgrade to business organization WiFi," said Dougherty, whose children range 3 to 10 years old. "It all the same didn't work. The kids' WiFi shut down several times a twenty-four hours."
While her married man Josh, a teacher, taught his own loftier schoolhouse special educational activity students via Zoom from his dwelling role in Pittsford, New York, Dougherty had to corral the rest of their brood, many of whom have specific educational and behavioral needs, to make sure everyone was focused and learning. "They pretty much all needed me one-on-one," Dougherty said.
Fortunately, Dougherty, 40, happens to have a degree in special education herself. Merely finding the physical infinite and patience to requite each kid the attention they needed was a tall guild.
Somewhen, the kids with the nigh intense behavioral and educational needs returned to in-person school four days a week and the teenagers were in school ii days a calendar week. The change relieved some of Dougherty's school-related multitasking, just it fabricated the week feel like a logistical nightmare.
Dougherty, however, persevered. She frequently reminded her kids of one of their family unit mottos: "Doughertys don't quit."
After getting married in 2003, Josh and Alicia Dougherty experienced infertility and 11 miscarriages, leading them to the determination to adopt their beginning child, Alex (at present 15), from foster care when he was 5 years quondam. 6 days later, they found out they were pregnant with Zoey (now 9). The couple went on to birth three more than children, and adopted five additional children, including two sets of biological siblings.
All half-dozen of the Doughertys' adopted children have Fetal Booze Spectrum Disorders (FASD), a grouping of weather that occur when alcohol passes from a mother to her infant through the umbilical cord. FASD can event in a mix of physical, behavioral and educational issues.
The Doughertys didn't realize that Alex had FASD when they welcomed him into their home; he only received his diagnosis after the couple sought an explanation for Alex'south behaviors. Then, the Doughertys became "the go-to foster dwelling house" for kids with FASD. Dougherty said, "We realized we were fully equipped to advocate for the kids' academic, educational and therapeutic needs."
FASD is apparent in "toddler-level tantrums" and sleep disorders of the adopted Dougherty children. Dougherty said the most difficult aspect of FASD is the kids' lack of executive functioning skills, which are the mental processes that enable people to make plans, focus attention and retrieve instructions, among other things.
"They don't really problem-solve for themselves. They can't take multi-step directions. And often, they can't even follow through on a one-step direction. They might lose their focus because it's not concrete plenty for them. I have to literally be their executive functioner," Dougherty said.
Know Your Value chatted with Dougherty to notice out how she survived (and continues to survive) the pandemic, how the family is adjusting to a new school twelvemonth…and if there's room at home for one more than Dougherty.
Going remote
Dougherty chosen remote school days in her Pittsford, New York home "intense." The teenagers did their piece of work in their bedrooms, as did her 9-year-former. The "triplets," biological son Dash, vii, and adopted twins Jordan and Jason,6, were in the aforementioned class at school; they borrowed laptops so each child had a split up screen. Dougherty had to fix them up in three different areas of the house so the sound wouldn't echo. Bodhi—their biological 4-year-quondam with autism—had remote sessions for occupational therapy, speech communication therapy and special pedagogy. And Harlee, their youngest at 3, "simply sort of hung out," Dougherty laughed.
Dougherty didn't have much outside aid, so she didn't accept much downwards time. Her husband was instruction, her parents were cocky-quarantined and her mother-in-law had wellness bug. On weekends, she would clean houses to earn extra money to aid support the family.
"Being a foster parent in full general is difficult. Information technology'south hard," Dougherty said. "These children take a lot of issues, a lot of trauma, and you're helping them process it and heal from information technology. At that place'due south definitely moments we've wanted to quit. But we push through, and we proceed going. And so we utilize that and we plow it around for our kids. If they get frustrated with homework, nosotros remind them that 'Doughertys don't quit.' You've got to keep going. You can practise it."
Quality time
One thing the Doughertys appreciated about enduring a pandemic together was all of the family unit time they were able to enjoy. "We went from spending no quality fourth dimension together to spending 24/vii quality fourth dimension together," Dougherty said.
Simply in the summer of 2020, the Doughertys found that constant togetherness without structure was a little as well much to handle. Dougherty said, "We were stir crazy. With 10 kids at home, we were all losing our minds."
Dougherty noticed that her kids were engrossed with TikTok. "I didn't fifty-fifty know what it was called at the time," she said. Dougherty fabricated an account, and and so one 24-hour interval she fabricated a video. And she fabricated some other. "We would find a dance to learn or something funny to recreate and make u.s.a. laugh. And then we started posting videos and realized they made other people laugh," she said.
Now, Dougherty and her family post a video nigh every day, and their TikTok account has 1.viii 1000000 followers who scout Dougherty's large-scale family food prep, daily routines and viral challenges.
A new school year
This September, the oldest nine children are at school in person while 3-year-old Harlee remains at domicile with Dougherty. The absence of remote schoolhouse force per unit area has made her days less complicated, but the reintroduction to in-person school has made her days longer.
On school mornings, Dougherty sets her alarm every bit early as 3 a.m. then she can be awake to have coffee, brand breakfasts and lunches and check backpacks for homework and h2o bottles. The teenagers wake up at 6 a.m. and get out at 7 a.m. Then she wakes upwardly the side by side group of kids to get them out the door by viii a.1000. Once winter arrives in their snowy upstate New York town, Dougherty added, the process will include hats, gloves and even snow pants.
"From 6 a.1000. to eight a.yard. it's merely become go get become go insanity. And then I breathe," Dougherty said.
So how does she get it all done? "I don't get to bed until 11:30 p.1000.," Dougherty said. So I have most xx hours in my day. Y'all can become a lot done in 20 hours!"
A baker's dozen?
Josh and Alicia Dougherty have a 2d family motto: "There's e'er room for one more." Though Dougherty said of having biological children that "the factory is closed!" she and Josh "will always continue to foster and prefer." And in fact, they take been approached to add one more foster child to the family. "We're trying to figure it out," Dougherty said.
Regardless of the size or circumstances of your family unit, Dougherty said, "When you experience overwhelmed, just take information technology one day at a fourth dimension. And if that'southward too overwhelming, only break it down farther. Take information technology an 60 minutes at a time, a half an hour at a time. Pick a bright spot in your day and focus on that instead. Sense of humor and laughter can seriously get you through those crazy stressful moments."
Source: https://www.msnbc.com/know-your-value/how-mom-10-including-6-fetal-alcohol-disorder-conquered-pandemic-n1281529
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